LIQUID NAP (CONCENTRATE)
Distilled sleep of a thousand sunbeams. One drop equals four hours on a warm windowsill.
ZVIR RUNNERS — PRO SPRINT PAIR (SET OF 2)
Lightweight performance footwear set for cats, engineered to increase running speed and jump height. Non-slip rubber sole, adjustable velcro strap, machine washable. Sold as 2 pairs (4 shoes total) per set.
NINTH LIFE BACKUP MODULE
Cloud backup for the final life. Restore point: last nap.
BOTTLED FORBIDDEN ROOM
The room you never let the cat into. Now in aerosol form. Spray to generate one (1) locked door.
RED DOT SINGULARITY
The dot. Caught. Contained. The chase ends here.
SCHRÖDINNER™ QUANTUM KIBBLE
Simultaneously eaten and uneaten until observed. 99.9% probability of satisfaction.
OKOZVIR X-RAY OCULAR IMPLANT
Surgical-grade ocular prosthetic providing through-wall vision for enhanced hunting and surveillance capability. Compatible with most domestic cat eye socket sizes. Includes lifetime targeting calibration.
PURRPETUAL ECHO
A recorded purr that never decays. Install in any room. The cat may leave; the purr remains.
MOUSE.SH PROTEIN RUNTIME
Executable rodent flavor. Runs in an isolated taste environment.
CATNIP DARKNET BLEND
Untraceable. Unregulated. Unbelievably relaxing. Ships in a Faraday pouch.
NINTH SENSE PATCH v0.9β
Grants perception of things that are not there yet. Known issue: cat stares at wall. This is intended behavior.
ANTI-GRAVITY ZOOMIES FIELD
Localized physics exemption, 3 a.m. certified. Your cat runs on walls now. And ceilings. And concepts.